Let's Fight Diablos!
by Princess Rena
Summary: FF8 characters meet up with the magical Humba from Banjo-Tooie! Rated PG for mild language. Please R/R!


Squall and his posse were sitting around, playing poker. Much to his dismay, Squall was losing badly. Down to the last gil that he had, he began to wonder if taking on Quistis was such a good idea. "That's another month's pay check, Squally boy!" Quistis laughed, laying her cards on the table, and helping herself to Squall's dwindling supply of chips.  
  
"No hotdogs for me," Squall sighed sadly in a voice that could have broken even Edea's heart.  
  
"In over your head, eh?" Rinoa taunted. She leaned back in her chair and twirled a lock of her hair around her finger. Squall grumbled words that no one could understand. (And even if they could, I couldn't relay them here. Trying to keep this PG-rated folks!)  
  
Suddenly, an idea popped into his head. "Hey, I know! We have nothing better to do! Let's fight Diablos!" Choruses of "yeah!"'s filled the tiny dorm room as every got geared up and ready to go on what was to be a crazy mission.  
  
  
"Ok, now how to we summon this demon thingy again?" Selphie inquired.  
  
"Blimey! You don't know how to summon Diablos! Ahh what a beauty! Of course, you rub that magic lamp, mate!" Zell put in.  
  
"ZELL, YOU'RE NOT AUSTRALIAN, GET OVER IT!" Rinoa screamed, losing her temper with Zell and his references to "The Mother Country".  
  
"Kiss me blinkin' arse," he mumbled.  
  
"We don't say 'ARSE' HERE, AND THE 'MOTHER COUNTRY' IS RUSSIA, NOT AUSTRALIA! OH THE STUPIDITY!" Rinoa banged her head against the ground in frustration.  
  
"Cheers! Good on ya, mate!" Zell quipped happily. His cheerful smile was soon disrupted by Rinoa's fist.  
  
"That's gotta hurt," Squall commented. But it was of little consequence. Squall brandished the lamp in question and was about to give it a good rub when...  
  
"Heena, hoina!" a native woman appeared out of nowhere, chanting some words in an odd language, over and over again.  
  
"HUMBA WUMBA???!!!" they all shouted in disbelief(except for Zell, who was a bit away from the rest of the group, singing "Aussie, Aussie, Aussie! Oi, oi, oi!").  
  
Irvine stepped up, sputtering incredulously, "Buh...what are YOU doing here? You're that weird sha-women from Banjo-Tooie...a NINTENDO game!!!" Irvine squealed like a little schoolgirl at the very idea.  
  
"Humba here to transform you for battle. Best transformation yet!" Humba muttered in her broken English.  
  
"Well...?" they all whispered impatiently. There was a bright, blinding light, and a tremendous crash filled the air.  
  
After it was all over, Humba said, "Ah, Humba call this transformation 'useless rock'! Hope it helps!" and with those less than comforting words, she disappeared as quickly as she appeared.   
  
"Well, this is just great!" the Selphie-shaped rock ranted. "How are we going to fight Diablos NOW?" The earth began to shake violently, and a huge, winged beast appeared from the lamp that Squall had dropped.  
  
"Did someone say my name?" (The all too familiar Destiny's Child song plays in the background) Diablos asked in a high-pitched, non-demony, falsetto voice.  
  
"Aye, mate, we wanna knock the jabbers outta ya!" Zell-rock said, moving back in forth for emphasis.  
  
"Is that so?" Diablos asked, batting its eyelashes that no one knew it had. All of the rocks nodded in that oh so distinctive way that's characteristic to ONLY rocks. "Well then..."(The pop/r&b smash single abruptly ceased)"PREPARE TO DIE!!!" Diablos landed lightly on the ground, reared back, and sprang into a gallop, leaping, out of orbit, I awoke, SING...Oh wait, sorry. I mean...lemme just redo that part, k?  
  
Diablos landed lightly on the ground, reared back, and sprang into a fast trot, gradually picking up speed as it approached its victims.  
  
"AHH AHH, WE GONNA DIE!" the little SeeD rocks screamed fearfully. Then, in an occurrence that can only be described as an act of fate, Diablos's foot rammed into Rinoa-rock, sending its owner tumbling in a dizzying spin. After what seemed like forever, Diablos's journey slammed to a halt as he hit the invisible wall that sealed off the abyss. Who knew?  
  
"I'm...I'm ok..." Diablos stuttered before being rendered unconscious by the force of the rolling action.   
  
"Yay, now Diablos can be a GF!" everyone shouted for joy at this realization. The celebratory dances were cut short when their minds came to dwell on the fact that they were all (quite literally) useless rocks.   
  
"Aww crap," Squall-rock muttered, expressing the feelings of everyone else in the party. And so they stayed, sitting in some alternate universe, contemplating everything from quantum physics, to who was hosting this week's Saturday Night Live, for the rest of eternity.  
  
THE END   
  



End file.
